Beyond the Familiar

The inordinate arms that once embraced her

Fabricated the life that she had called her own

They caressed her tightly and shielded her vision

Trapping her in a world of false comfort and reality

Familiar and agreeable, these arms were convincing walls

Built tall and overwhelming, supportive and terrorizing, encouraging and dispiriting

 

As this world around her crumbled

And its walls cracked and shattered to the ground

Dust filled the air from its shambles

And she cowered, impotent and blind

 

Once the last remnant fell and the chaos subsided

The air began to clear and an unfamiliar light shone

With each blink, the setting became more perceptible

And a shock filled her heart with an unanticipated hope

She raised her head and hoisted herself to her feet

For although her kingdom had plummeted, she was ascending, still

Surrounded now by a world she had been shielded from

By a life she had never dreamt to lead

A new beginning, both intimidating and exhilarating

Sprinkled with the residue of her past

With each new step taken and each new twist and turn

The remains of what once was flutter away to lay low within her new self

With the end of one came another: this one bearing no limits or firm clutch

Just beyond the only life she knew, past the barriers that held her back

This world was waiting to welcome her with open arms

Freedom and Gratitude

I used to breathe words from my heart onto a page each day

I inhaled my troubles, translated them and exhaled freely as they fluttered down into shapes in front of me

It was no pastime or call for attention- it was my stability and my sanity

My mind would not rest so long as I had not voiced my thoughts and flexed my mind into creating

It was a calling- a passion that struck me like no other- an addiction that I couldn’t let go of

My soul is hidden within the bones of my poems and the marrow of my words, and that is forever

But,

In time, things have changed

No longer am I solely solitary with my thoughts, and rarely do I dance so sweetly with words as I once did

But that is okay

My mortal crutch and the bearer of my heart’s hardships and loves is with whom my words reside

It is a burden that I cannot imagine to have to bear, but it is dismissed as a simple humanly thing to do

I’ve realized that although it takes time to piece lines together on paper, it is easy compared to having to organize emotions in thin air

Translation, understanding and much patience is required to withhold the intensity and ridiculousness of what sometimes may drift into my mind, but he trudges on and holds my broken pieces together when I’ve shattered

No matter how many ways I may try to say so and no matter how many times I have, there are no words to truly express my gratitude

To pain an ear with blubbering insecurities and repetitive uncertainties each day must be exhausting, but he’s not yet grown tired

To be an open book is to be me when I am with him- once something I could do only with a blank sheet in an empty room

So while I continue to compose on my own, it is no longer the only thing keeping my feet on the ground

Now when I share my words, it is not just with a bare page

For once I am sharing my thoughts and having thoughts shared back

Thank you

Questions.

If in a terrible blizzard

You dig your hand in the snow,

Is the last flake to melt

One to contemplate?

If the storm subsides

And you gaze toward the sky,

Will the first blue you see

Be followed by the sun?

If while lost in your doubts

You stumble upon a map,

Could the signs you see

Lead you in the right direction?

Post Examination.

Damper lashes grace my face and explain my toils as I travel down a path I've never been before
Limited time transfixes my thoughts and my heart is trodden on as frustration engulfs all rationale
The more I stare, the more hopeless I become and the more helpless I am to my own cause
Everyone around me seems to have a map telling them where to go, what to do- they all look so calm
But here I am lost and wandering and doing everything wrong
If failure is imminent, what else matters in the world?
What else matters is that it's only a stone under my wheels that strikes my balance and causes me to stumble, but I do not allow myself to fall, for I will break a bone which will take much longer to heal than pride
The stone is behind me and though I have faltered, I remain in one piece and whole
Though my mind is distracted as I carry on traveling, the fact is that I still choose to carry on
Will the stone make you fall? For me it wasn't easy at all, but some are more careless
Passion will heal me with the help of the Dead Poets and Mr. Keating who shall inspire me once again to do what I love
I shall one day stand on tables, show the world a new perspective, and preach to the power of Carpe Diem and the importance of individualism and creativity
This stone shall not let me fall- I shall carry on down this untraveled path without my map and try my hardest to reach the goal in which I have been pursuing for so long


references;
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=veYR3ZC9wMQ  (carpe diem)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U91Wl2YpkD8    (perspective)

Kismet.

(Click to hear this poem spoken by the author on SoundCloud)

This is my first recorded Spoken Word poem! If you're interested, please click on the text above to listen and follow along to the words if you'd like! 
If you'd prefer not to, you can just read it here:

While innocence and naivete swirled throughout the webbings of my veins, I lived
My home was a structure so delicately built on a cloud that floated at nine
Soul was strewn into the cracks in the woodwork and passion laced the floorboards
Mother Nature would intertwine her fingers with the sky and warm the atmosphere with love
On the walls I would write my deepest thoughts of pain, pleasure and hope
I would inscribe the stories of my past, my dreams, my everything; my walls kept me safe
Sweet serenity would drift in under the crevice that graced the doorway to bless me with the security of the mind
Floating above the masses it never rained where I was; always sheltered from darkness and the depths

As I aged though, my legs were stretched and my arms were pulled
Like taffy, I was pliant and consumed by a force of which I could not control
Weighed down by changes of new, I grew too heavy for my home to support
From the sky I plummeted, tumbled, toppled and to the ground I collapsed
From this new view I could see my haven, my heaven, my oasis; but it was much too far to reach

I must go on living in this new world alone
Always on my tail my shadow creeps along
Until I find I need its company and then it's gone
So bitter are the days when I feel alone
Surrounded by faces but no one's home

For comfort I glance above to see the place I once called my own
Inhabited by a being of unrecognizable stature; I cower in fear and terror from the site of my home
My walls have been disrupted by strangers unknown
The marvels I once scrawled upon their perimeter have sunk within the grain and have been buried by the works of a new hand
All that once was mine; all that shielded me from the cold whisperings of the wind has now been transformed
I must now transfix my gaze forward; to look again would be too much of a shock

Each step I take will be a mission; a journey that will lead me to my new life where I will build new walls and write new words
Each breath I breathe will fill me with the new drive I shall need to strive on; and strive on I shall
Off to this new world will I go, soft and slow, steady and careful and wonderfully aglow

One Step Forward.

Once, I turned a corner and I grew a few inches

I looked up and the sky seemed closer,

Looked down and the floor seemed further

My eyes soon opened and my heart soon stretched

I learned to trust and to mistrust

I learned to seek and to hide

I learned to cry without tears

I learned to love without reason

Time was carried on the wind that passed me by every day

It would slam into me, caress me, toss me and soothe me

It would steal my feet from beneath me and guide me through

Now here I am.

Where am I?

How did I get here?

Once, I entered a room with no door and no walls

I placed my foot upon a floor that did not exist

The light shining behind me was everything I had ever needed

It helped me to adjust to what I strained to see in the dark ahead

I was blind, but I knew I had to take that step

Am I falling?

Am I stable?

Am I alone?

Once, I clung to a hand that I could not cling to forever

I knew that someday she may need it to hold herself up

I knew that someday I would need mine to support myself

I can still feel it there. I always will.

I know it'll always be there when I need it.

I'll need it.

Now here I am.

Where am I?

How did I get here?

Am I falling?

Am I stable?

Am I alone?

I turned that corner.

I took that step.

And I had to let go. 

For now.

And now here I am.

Life in a Page.

a perpetual glow is shed upon an hourglass in which a new presence is brought to life
the sand falls slowly as it begins its long, unpredictable journey from beginning to end

the world carries a blinding light that such young eyes have not yet seen
a cry brings ear-shattering relief to those who are surrounding, but soon the sound is hushed as tender lips sweetly suckle the bosom that magically provides life to life
knowledge is gained through feeling as lungs fill with air and mouth fills with taste; as soft fingers stroke each and every thing in sight and little ears react so delicately to sound

soon, limbs are stretched and personality is challenged and molded
time passes and scars blemish a flawless complexion and a pure soul
conformity and societal expectations test individuality and strength
rules and lectures are forced down the throat and judgments are passed
respect grows for those who deserve it and love is an understood truth
tall legs carry a confident figure blessed with health, talent and hope

a shimmering presence gleams in the eye of one so fortunate and draws many into its grasp
time stops and the sand halts in its fall through the glass as a precious treasure is spotted
there is a pounding in the chest and a constriction in the throat while stomachs whirl and palms sweat
a moment so bittersweet and memorable; irresistible, yet sickening
mutual feelings are accomplished and life seems imaginary and unbelievable
organized reasoning tumbles and is lost as all the brain's entirety is engulfed by distracted thoughts
moments alone are eternities spent in a prison of loneliness and longing
elation is intoxicating as time passes with fingers perfectly interlocked and souls intertwined

later, natural change stains the sense of self and causes relationships to balance over a pit of fire
conflict arises more commonly and the intricate strings of the heart are splintered and torn
the sand falls as rapidly as ever and each day attempts to be savoured as if it were the last
sore bones battle with gravity as old ears strain to listen to those who still bother to speak
wisdom creates vast valleys that frame the features, and hardships sag firm skin
tired eyes search endlessly for the glow, but the time has issued the light to fade
life was given, taken, and sucked dry of all that it could ever be; there is no reason for disappointment as the inevitable approaches its awaited day
no matter how long life may be spent in the light, it cannot be daytime forever- the night must one day come

so it begins. so it ends. so it begins again.

To a Friend.

Awkward moments in hallways

Uncomfortable displays of affection

Hour-long phone conversations and page-long yearbook signings

Trust and mistrust

Jealousy and admiration

First experiences and light hearts

All those times

There were so many years

Childhood, jealousy, laughter, despair

Throwing flowers in fields and racing through waters

No reason to pretend as if I don't still care

So much conflict

So many disagreements

So many reasons it shouldn't go on

But you're still caged in my heart like a bird with no wings

Time is no matter, for you'll never be gone

Our futures await

Separate paths lie ahead

Sometimes look back on what's left behind

No shame, but glad we've moved on

No matter what, you'll always be in my mind

Thanks for the times

Thanks for the memories

Thanks for the love and thanks for the support

Thanks for being my best friend

And thanks for knowing how to always be there

Thanks for being you

Thanks for letting me be me

Thanks for the honesty

Thanks for the friendship

Thanks for proving that life goes on

A Tiny Little Philisophical Detour off of the Gigantic Highway of Existence.

Warning: This piece of writing is mainly just for myself.. Most people may find it boring and lengthy, but I had a blast siphoning it out of my brain.

I read a document very recently that spoke about how marketers and salespeople manage to plant ideas into the heads of others. The article didn't teach you how to perform these tactics- they taught you how to detect and protect yourself from them. I found it quite frightening to imagine that people are trained and able to literally implant a thought into your mind. Most of the time when this happens, you are completely unaware and unable to even realize what's actually happening. If this is possible, is it possible that all of our ideas have somehow been instilled into our brains without our conscious self being aware of it? I think it's entirely possible.

We're raised with do's and don'ts. We are constantly being smothered by societal norms, social and economic limitations, the law, public and private systems, our peers, our friends and our families. All of these have an immense impact on the way we live our lives and the way we view ourselves and the rest of the world. As we grow up, we are surrounded by these structures; these thoughts possessed by others, and all of them shape who we will become. Is this a terrifying thing? Is it petrifying to us that everything we have ever thought of has been fabricated and extracted (not always replicated) from the minds of others? Yes, we can exaggerate and build on things that we've heard, but I'm starting to think that it is unquestionably impossible for the human mind to ever come up with a thought or idea that has not initially been thought of before. We are inspired by what our senses pick up- what we see, feel, hear, smell and touch. Everything around us has been imagined or experienced before by another being. To answer the question; I'm not so sure it is so terrifying. I think it's actually quite beautiful. To think that the entire human race has been built upon the thoughts and imaginations of others.. to think that every person alive is somehow connected to one another is a spectacular contemplation.

Realizing that you're completely unoriginal and nothing anyone hasn't seen before is a thought that makes a lot of us uncomfortable and we end up denying the possibility of the fact. As humans, we like to think that we're all incredibly special and different in our own way; and that is true to a point. To ourselves and most likely to the people who surround us in our daily lives, we can be thought of as something exceptional (in either a positive or negative way). The truth is, existentialism is correct when it states that in the massive, grand scheme of things, we are completely and totally insignificant. The Queen of England, Bono, Lance Armstrong, Chuck Norris, Johnny Depp.. they're all just unimportant, non-universe-altering beings. Every single one of us is like this. Yes, kids.. even Justin Bieber doesn't matter when it comes to the universe's harsh reality (and many other things). This dark, depressing philosophy is one I believe to be completely true and correct. We are all just simple little specs within the entirety of the known universe. The thing is- who the bejezus should actually give a flying whobird? Why should we care to be known universally? As much as I agree with the philosophy, I think it focuses a lot on things that do not matter. Yeah, it'd be nice to think that my existence is significant in the grand scheme of things, but the fact is that it isn't and I can't change that. Oh well, boo-hoo. Shouldn't we as individuals be striving to live a life that is significant to the people we care about? Doesn't it mean more to make a smaller, deeper impact on those whom we actually give a crap about, rather than making a large, w i d e – s p r e a d and shallow impact on those whom we don't even know? Honestly, I think it's just plain stupid to be genuinely upset by the fact that the whole world will never know you or how amazing you are. I think it's way more important for us to be striking and memorable to those of whom we treasure. I don't care if “Vlad” from Russia living days away from me knows who I am. I care that my grandchildren and great-grandchildren will someday know my name and acknowledge the fact that I once existed and thought that the possibility of them being alive was pretty rad. I care that my mum knows I love her more than anyone and that my brothers know that they're the most remarkable men I'll ever know. I do not care about being considered some kind of magic, special and “universally significant” being. I just want to be loved and respected by the people I love and respect, and I want to live a life worth being proud of.

This is the Universe. Our Galaxy is in there somewhere. And somewhere in our Galaxy there is our Solar System and somewhere in our Solar System there is Earth. On Earth there are continents and then countries.. then you're there somewhere, but at that point, who really cares to dig that deep?
But really.. why would it ever matter that anyone would want to or not?

That's my credo. Congrats if you made it this far.

...

P.S. - I understand that you may have heard rants similar to this one before, but that just supports the fact that we can't concoct anything completely original. Why does that prove it? Well, because as I wrote this, I believed everything was coming from my own special little mind.

Our Land.

I live in a place where reality lies and happiness seems to just be a guise

Where ignorance, cowardice and fear are our norms that shall lead to our demise

Greed and capitalization, what a cruel combination

It's what's swallowing our world and holding us an abomination

Forever shall we be an uncertainty; never sure of who we are or what we ought to be

So many choose to be blind when it can be so easy to see; this is our reality